If your blood pressure rises when someone honks at your car or you are in a bad mood because your peer did not complete work on time, it does not make you a bad person for feeling angry. Anger is a normal emotional response of the body against unpleasant incidents. Everyone gets angry at times and to some extent has a right to feel angry. Though anger is a healthy emotion of body, but in its extreme expression it can be devastating and can cause health issues. Therefore, it is important to learn to control anger or stay calm in such situations.
There are extensive classes on anger management and today I present few tips that may help you to deal with anger in a positive way:
Start counting: We have been given advice various times when we are angry count one to ten before speaking anything. Although it may seem cliché, counting to 10 before reacting really can defuse your temper.
Thomas Jefferson, former US president said “when angry; count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred”.
Take a timeout: Stepping away from a fussy situation or the person that is making you upset; can help to soothe your anger.
Engage yourself in some exercise: Some light exercises can help in diverting your mind from the crisis point and hence control anger. You can take a brisk walk or long run, jog, swim, play tennis, practice yoga or meditation to remain soothe and calm.
Don’t speak while you are angry: Avoid speaking to the person at the moment you are angry. If you did speak at the time you are angry, so you may speak harshly and a problem which was small in the beginning could become big. Remember anger is just one letter away from danger.
Listen to your favorite songs: Take a minute to calm yourself and listen to your favorite songs. Diverting concentration on a different subject especially the one you like the most can help you in these stressful situations.
Realize that no one is perfect: It can be anybody including you who can commit mistakes. Though it looks hard but realizing this fact will make your mind calm to understand the situation.
phrases: Memorize phrases such as “calm down,” “take it easy,” “chill out,” “cool off.” I am sure such phrases can help you to withdraw from the point of anger raising activities.
Look in the mirror: It seems odd to look yourself in the mirror while angry and it may not be a pretty picture you want to see. But it help you to keep away from anger as it is actually hard to stay enraged when you’re staring yourself in the face.
Learn to forgive: It is an art and comes with experience. It may seem unrealistic but if you master the art of forgiveness you will no longer have reasons to be angry at someone else. Thereafter, you can even focus on positive ways to solve the problem.
There was a professor at University of Carnegie Mellon, Randy Pausch, who passed away from pancreatic cancer in 2008. In his last lecture, he says, “everybody has a good side, if you wait long enough; they will show you their good side”. So, if you don’t forgive, then you might not get a chance to see good side of the other person.
Express your anger when you are calm: Don’t show your long awaited grudges and frustration, when you are angry. Wait until you are calm as when you are calm you can easily express your frustration in a non confrontational way.
I believe most of you have experienced that when you are angry your brain doesn’t function in a positive way and you react to situation abruptly. Anger if not controlled could cause big problems. A problem that could be small in the beginning can become worse if you handle it with anger. If you think in a long term, anger not only makes situation worse and deteriorate the relationships, it can affect your overall health. It can be leading cause of various disorders such as high blood pressure, depression and anxiety. Therefore, to lead a healthy life controlling anger is necessary.
I wish you may find tips to control anger useful. Most of the options are short term solutions. For better control on your emotions, practicing yoga or meditation is a good option. I wrote about mind like water in my previous post and if you can reach to a level that you have control on your mind like water, situation that cause anger will be much less stressful.
Healthy Anger Management!